Why Holidays are Exhausting (Now)

I’m finally coming up for air from Easter weekend. And I’m still exhausted…mentally.

As with most holidays since receiving Livvy’s terminal diagnosis that stripped her of her abilities to walk, talk, and enjoy so many things in life, I dread them. Holidays are no longer what they used to be. They’re all now a glaring reminder of everything our daughter can no longer do.

While you would probably never know that by seeing me during the holidays because we keep things as absolutely normal as possible for the girls, I have to mentally prepare before each one.

How do we keep Livvy as involved with her sisters as possible? What “toys” do we get her now that she can’t even hold on to anything? What can we do to still give Keira and Eva the same opportunities as we normally would but not exclude Livvy? How can we have her help us decorate? Will the clothes we order be stretchy enough to go over her arms when she’s having trouble straightening them? What equipment and supplies should we bring if we have to go to a grandparents house? The questions go on and on.

It’s exhausting. And stressful. And sad.

But these are the things parents of children with MLD have to think about.

Not to mention the fact that with each passing holiday, we are one more holiday closer to her not being here. Which, as I write this, I suppose is a true statement for all of us but not a thought that is as omnipresent as it is for a parent of a terminally ill child.

Will this be her last Easter? Her last birthday? Her last Christmas? I think that thought on every holiday.

This Easter was particularly hard because Livvy was battling her 5th UTI in a row, spiked a fever and then had a seizure the morning we were going to take them all to meet their cousins at a nearby farm for an egg hunt with fair rides.

With an Easter excursion out of the plans for her, it was all about rest, relaxation, keeping her food and meds down and doing whatever we could to get a smile back on her face.

Thankfully, we got a new, additional medication prescribed (Augmentin), and it’s doing the trick to get her well. We are hoping it keeps these infections at bay (since Keflex did not) as we prepare for her 5th birthday next month. A very happy occasion, absolutely, but another event that will take its toll both mentally and emotionally.

To my fellow parents of terminally ill children: stay strong and don’t feel bad about taking a break after the holidays. I know I always need one, and Lord knows we ALL deserve it! ❤️

PFDD for MLD on Oct 21st

These letters may not mean much to you but they mean SO much to the MLD community of patients and their loved ones. Because on October 21st, a select group of individuals in that community (including yours truly), get to share their stories in a PFDD, meaning Patient Focused Drug-Development meeting, with the FDA, researchers, clinicians, and other stakeholders. Yes…I said the FDA!

I am blown away that we get to shine a light on this horrible disease and share that there is actually a treatment option out there that can save non-symptomatic patients with this disease, like Keira.

And YOU can be a part of it! Both the speakers, as well as their family and friends, can log on to this Zoom discussion to share what you see first-hand regarding this disease and how a treatment like the gene therapy Keira received could be beneficial (which, by beneficial, I mean the absolute best option on Earth).

Myself and other panelists meeting on Zoom to practice our presentations for the Oct 21st PFDD.

Here is the link to register and join us on Zoom on October 21st: www.mldpfdd.org.

This PFDD means quite a few – very important – things:

1. Our community has raised enough awareness about this terrible disease to get in front of the FDA, researchers and other key stakeholders and share its affect on patients and caregivers and the only treatment options that exist.

2. This could raise awareness for the need for the Newborn Screening panel to include MLD. Because the gene therapy Keira received has come to the US (and is already approved in the EU), we have a way to treat newborns diagnosed with MLD. And unless it’s treated fast, they will end up with a fate like Livvy’s.

3. Once they see the odds this community is up against and the options available, they may be more open to approving treatments for life-ending disease. No child should die by age 6 when they have the chance to live a full life if they were diagnosed at birth.

As part of the panels presenting, I will am getting to share our family’s story in relation to current and future treatments for MLD. Including, the two treatment options we used for the girls (Livvy’s clinical trial and Keira’s gene therapy), any complications that resulted (like Livvy’s internal port in the clinical trial), how we manage Livvy’s symptoms, how Keira is symptom-free nd how willing we are to do anything to give our children the chance at a better life.

Here is the link again to stay up to date and join us online October 21st: www.mldpfdd.org. By registering you will also have access to the September 12th community webinar.

If you or a family member have been affected by this disease I highly urge you to join me – attendees can share their insights too!

UPDATE: to see the full MLD PFDD, including my testimony, it is now online here: www.mldpfdd.org.

Mother’s Day Rings Different After D-Day

It was a few days before Mother’s Day this year that Dave had to remind me that it was coming up the next Sunday. And immediately I got that same feeling of dread and guilt that I felt on my first Mother’s Day after receiving Livvy’s diagnosis (coined D-Day). I was sick to my stomach.

My first Mother’s Day after Livvy’s diagnosis. She could still talk, still sometimes sit up on her own and we had no idea about Keira’s diagnosis yet. My mom surprised me with Eva’s shirt that says “Strong Like Mom” and it made me tear up (and still does). From the picture you’d have no idea what we were going through. But internally I was broken.

While I know it’s not my or Dave’s “fault’ that this has happened to our children, you can’t help but feel like a bad parent when your child is terminally ill and there’s literally nothing you can do to fix it and make them better.

That first Mother’s Day and Father’s Day after we received Livvy’s (and then Keira’s) diagnosis were gut wrenching. Dave and I didn’t want to celebrate; we were heartbroken. I felt nauseous for months after receiving the news. It was one of the worst times of our lives knowing not one but two of our children has this terminal illness for which there was no cure. Why would we then turn around and celebrate us as parents?

Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day, suddenly went from being days to celebrate us as parents to days we dread.

While it seems each year it has gotten a tiny bit easier for me to process, it’s still a day I do not want to celebrate. I’d love to erase it from the calendar altogether if I could. But I know each year Eva, and soon Keira, will come home with gifts for us that they made at school. And we’ll be forced to put on those smiles and “celebrate,” at least taking comfort in the fact that it’s something the girls enjoy celebrating. For us though…I think it will always be hard.

What we do take comfort in though is the fact that we have done literally everything in our power to get them anything and everything we possibly could – whether it’s the only clinical trial in the world for symptomatic MLD patients, a life-saving gene therapy treatment in Italy for non-symptomatic MLD patients or just all the hugs, loves and happy life experiences we could think of. We would do anything for our girls.

And in the end, I know we deserve to be celebrated. But on days like those we just have to try extra hard to enjoy it.

Breaking Records at Wish Ball

A few months ago, we were approached by Make-A-Wish Arizona to see if we would interested in sharing Livvy’s wish (her swingset) in a video that would be played at their biggest fundraiser of the year, the Wish Ball.

If I’ve learned anything from this journey so far it’s that sharing our story can only help others. We said yes, filmed it in our backyard with the girls and below is the final product which was played during live auction and Fund-A-Wish portion of the evening at Wish Ball this Saturday.

After this moment, records were broken. The Wish Ball raised more money that evening than they ever have before. And we are so honored to say that Livvy was a part of that. That her story is now helping other children get their wishes granted.

Take a moment to watch it below and if you feel so inclined help Livvy give more kids their wishes by donating to Make a Wish Foundation of Arizona here.

Thank you Make-A-Wish Arizona for not only giving Livvy her wish, but also giving her sisters (and us) memories with that will last our lifetime.

More photos from the evening below:

Livvy, the Sparrow

Last year after we returned from Italy for Keira’s treatment we were connected with a non-profit organization called Sparrow Clubs USA which is based in Oregon but getting into the Arizona market and looking for a family – in particular a child with medical needs like Livvy – to partner with as they launched their first Sparrow Club at Hamilton High School in Chandler, AZ.

After hearing the story of how Sparrow Clubs began and what it does for high school students, as well as families who have children with extreme medical needs, it was a no brainer that we wanted Livvy to be part of the impact it would make on our local community.

To put it simply: “Sparrow Clubs exist to set the stage for simple, yet heroic, acts of kindness in schools and youth culture by empowering kids to help kids in medical need.” And as Matt Sampson (the Executive Director of Sparrow Clubs) and their community partner Amy Anderson of Black Rock Coffee explained, Hamilton High would adopt Livvy as their first “sparrow”, the entire student body would do up to 300 hours of any kind of community service work and as they did so it would unlock the funds that Black Rock Coffee donated for Livvy.

Sparrow Clubs made flyers for the school, created this lovely video about Livvy (which brought us to tears), and before we knew it we were touring classrooms at Hamilton High this week with the Student President of Hamilton’s Sparrow Club Richa Churravuri.

Students watched the video, learned about Sparrow Clubs from representative Cory Burket, I briefly told our family’s story and the kids all lined up to meet Livvy and give her a fist bump. She loved it!

Livvy with us amd the teams from Sparrow Clubs, Hamilton High School and Black Rock Coffee.

The following day (today) we were invited to their school wide spring assemblies which were divided into two assemblies on the football field due to the school size (4,000+ students) where Richa got to speak about Sparrow Clubs, how students could get involved and to introduce Livvy.

It was a really cool experience for her (and us) as she got to meet the Hamilton Husky mascot, take a picture with the cheerleaders and get cheered on by all of the students. I overheard one student who met her yesterday yell out “LIVVY! That’s my girl!”

And as I shared with someone today, having her be a “sparrow” and part of this experience is not about the funds for Livvy’s new stroller but more so about the impact that meeting her and being a part of her story would make on others. How it would instill kindness, compassion and empathy in these students, and ultimately make a ripple effect of kindness in our community.

We are honored to be a part of this experience and hope to see more Sparrow Clubs throughout the state.